“There’s this waiting game that I don’t know how to play. It’s enough of a fight staying alive anyway” -Parson James, “Waiting Game”
There’s this song I discovered today while watching Grey’s Anatomy (my favorite show ever btw) called Waiting Game by Parson James. It started playing during the scene where Shepherd sees Stephanie in the gallery while operating on Kyle (Steph’s boyfriend) and Shepherd tells Jo to rush up to the gallery to stop Steph from watching but it was too late.. Kyle died on the table. I cried. This song is exactly what I needed. With what I’ve been dealing with this past month and a half this song really comforts me. Lately, my life has been a waiting game. Waiting for the hurt to stop and for the healing to begin. Waiting for God to answer my prayers. Waiting for my life to go back to normal. Waiting for truth. Waiting for change. Just a whole lot of waiting. I only talked to God about this situation because he’s honestly the only one, aside from my parents and siblings, that really knows what’s going on in my life right now. I love my friends but I can’t talk about it with them because I know they can’t relate and I’m not looking for sympathy. I couldn’t even give them an explanation as to why I can’t go to lacrosse summer camp. It hurts not knowing. I never expected this summer to be like this. But I guess God had other plans. It’s going by fast and I’m spending most of my time worried. The unknown scares me. Like what do we do next? How do we overcome this? When will this end? These questions and more keep me up at night. But I know God got us. And I know I’ve been slacking off with the appreciation posts and I promise I’ll get right back on those as soon as I feel like it!